3 Stars for Which One of You is the Mother? by Sean Michael O’Donnell #MM @seansbiggayblog


Title: Which One of You is the Mother?
Author Name: Sean Michael O’Donnell
Publication Date & Length: August 24, 2015 – 127 pgs


After fifteen years of up-all-night gay disco dance parties, Sean O’Donnell and his longtime partner Todd decided to trade in their leather chaps for mom jeans and start a family. In August 2012 the not-so ambiguously gay duo walked into a Pittsburgh-based adoption agency and said, “We’d like a child, please.” For the next several months they attended parenting classes, subjected themselves to probing FBI background checks, and completed enough paperwork to reforest the whole of the Amazon River basin. Despite lacking a magical baby-making vagina the pair successfully made omelets without eggs when in July 2013 they flew to Oregon to meet their seven-year-old son for the first time. No longer Sean and Todd they would now be forever known as Dad and Papa to the observant boy (“So that’s how you sleep.”) with a million questions (“Do you have a girlfriend?”, “Where do babies come from?”, “What’s gay?”) No sooner had they settled into their new roles when the stork returned the following year, delivering another boy who quickly proved that five-year-olds were basically talking babies who could use the toilet. Which One of You is the Mother? is the story of how two gay guys finally met the two kids who were always meant to be their sons. This is a book that celebrates a different kind of family who just happens to be like every other family on the block. Only gayer. And funnier.

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The titular question is one Sean Michael O’Donnell hates to hear in this short memoir. The question is subtley homophobic, and tiringly repetitive. He’s a father, and his husband is also a father, and if you can get past Sean’s ego (self-confessed) and painful attempts to be funny (he may be unaware), there’s a beautiful, earnest story underneath.
Sean details the adoption process in the United States with openness and love. I learned a lot. Some of what happens to children is upsetting. Parenting can also be upsetting. Sean doesn’t shy away from the dark corners of the world.
However, other than his struggles with weight, Sean is not particularly self-reflective. Missing are introspective thoughts about his parents, or his partner, or his yearning to have children. It’s a book written about the surface of life. There are no depths. Despite that, when Sean presented a link to a blog that showcased more of his family, I eagerly followed
. ~ Christy


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Sean Michael O’Donnell is a 40 year old married gay man. He lives in Pittsburgh with his husband and two sons. Sean enjoys Law & Order reruns, Christmas movies in October, and Facebook stalking. He likes donuts and beer. Sometimes he does yoga. This blog is his attempt to chronicle his experiences as a parent. The contents are 75% truth, 18% satire, 6% hyperbole and 1% drama.

Author’s Website
Author’s GoodReads Page

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